But why not fly in the face of all that and have some fun with a Hummer? It's only a baby Hummer, after all.
So let's have a look-see at what German tuner Geiger has cooking for the Hummer H3.
Well, they've taken the stock 5.3 liter V8 and slapped a supercharger on it to squeeze some more life out of the thing - a lot more. What you get is the H3 V8 Kompressor, with Geiger taking the 5.3 liter V8's standard 300 hp and 320 lb-ft (434 Nm) of torque and cranking it up to a galloping 423 hp and 502 lb-ft (680 Nm) of pure power.
What that does is make this high center of gravity vehicle take a scary 0 to 100 km/h (62 mph) run in 7 seconds with a top speed that has to be illegal somewhere for an SUV this size of 238 km/h (148mph).
On the optics side, the full body kit with carbon fiber trim on the inside are best described by the photos that follow.
And if the Hummer brand doesn't survive GM's current troubles, this H3 will look really retro out there on the road. Screaming 90s Detroit automotive narcissism. Ah, those were the days.
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